11. November 2009 by Farb.

One of the Emergency Procedures we review with the students is “What is an engine compressor stall and what do you do if you get one.” A compressor stall is when the engine backfires or stops producing thrust and can occur because of various reasons. To get my point across about how attention getting a compressor stalls can be I tell one of my favorite Lieutenant stories that I obtained while I was flying F-4s. When I say Lieutenant that means I was not bright and kind of just meandering through life without much smarts. In other words, I was a prime example that GOD can, and really does take care of stupid people. You know - Lieutenant! Here goes … I was hanging out on the wing of a guy named Eric Oliver (short for Mr. Prick) and we had just come off the bombing range at IShima in Okinawa, Japan. Since we had some extra gas my leader decided that we would practice two-ship tactical down low over the water. When I say low I really mean very low and very fast and making the old Rhino make noise out of JP-4. By this time of the mission our external wing tanks had gone dry and as we pushed the speed of sound at sea level I remembered that there was something in the Dash 1 about empty tanks, sea level and maximum speeds not to exceed. Failure to watch this restriction would result in a crumpled up external tank and a personal talk with the Operations Group Commander. The good news was that I remembered there was a restriction. The bad news is that I could not remember the number for the life of me. Being the intelligent and resourceful Front Seater that I was and using an early example of Crew Resource Management (CRM) I asked my Back Seater for the number. His answer was what I normally got from him which was Duh - I don’t know. So working on the assumption that I had already exceeded that speed and that the tank was about to go bent; I pulled the throttles rapidly out of mil power all the way to idle power in order to slow down. I remember to this day that as I was pulling the power back a little picture came into my head. The picture was me sitting in front of my flight leader (Mr. Prick) in the briefing room and him yelling his head off at me for being out of position as a wingman. Not wanting to get yelled at; I immediately threw both throttles back in to full afterburner to make up for the two knots of airspeed I had probably lost by then. The response was impressive even to this day. Normally flames in a jet engine come out the back end. On that day I was privileged to see flames come out the front end of both engines. You need to get this picture - as the pilot I sit forward of the engine intakes about 3 feet. What I saw was flames about 3 feet in front of me. Both engines burped and shuttered so bad that both my feet were kicked off the rudder pedals and my legs slammed back into the seat. I swear the aircraft appeared to stop moving forward for an instant. Imagine driving forward at roughly 600 plus knots and then instantly going backwards for just a split second. I swear it happened - I shit you not. More important and louder than the engine backfire was the noise emanating from the back seater as he practically shit his drawers. He sits slightly behind the front edge of the intakes so he saw a minimum of 6 feet of flames coming out of the wrong end. Needless to say he was certainly scared. Me on the other hand, being calm, cool and collected as every good fighter pilot is; I just took both throttles smoothly back to mil power and then gingerly back into min afterburner as if nothing had happened and we continued on with the tactical formation until bingo fuel. What I have always said about the old F-4 is that it is really a manly aircraft. “It would take a lickin and keep on tickin.” That is exactly what it did. When we got back I never got yelled at for being out of position because Mr. Prick wasn’t looking when my aircraft became a temporary fireball. Try doing that in today’s pussy airplanes. See ya - Wouldn’t want to be ya!

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10. November 2009 by Farb.

My current job is that of instructing students in the fine art of flying airplanes. More specifically, flying the T-6 Texan II primary trainer aircraft. Granted, I am not actually flying real airplanes, but I instruct in the T-6 simulator and we cover the basics of manned flight from the ground up. The students often joke about all of their simulator instructors when they think we are not listening. Because of the type of individuals we are; more specifically how old we all are (and we are all very old) they often think that one of two things might happen while we are instructing. The first is that we might fall asleep during the mission. The second, and one that most of us hope won’t happen, is that we may pass away during the sortie. Currently I only have to deal with the first issue but the latter one is a distinct possibility and coming on fast.As most pilots know; we are often telling stories of our heroic exploits while defying gravity. When used with alcohol and at the Officer’s Club on Friday nights it can sometimes lead to romantic interest. Just ask my wife. We term those stories “War Stories.” Being a typical pilot I have accumulated about a million heroic stories over the many years I have flown. I often use these stories to make a point or to get the student’s attention. It is a very good way to teach and I often hear the other instructors doing the same. So while at my job I decided to take these daily instructional stories and start a new series of blogs that I will title “War Stories.” Just remember these are the stories that I remember and they are true to the best of my ability. However, since I am currently suffering from CRS (a disease common among older men - short for Can’t Remember Shit) I am really not totally responsible if there are some parts that might be questionable. So hang on - here goes!

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